Your FINANCIAL affairs - are they in ORDER?
Has it been on your list for a while? (... years? decades?) If it has - you are right there with 60% of all Americans.
I procrastinate with the best of them. I can also do pretty much anything I set my mind to (I recovered the same couch. TWICE.).
While I hate admitting it publicly, for years we procrastinated in completing this one. Whenever I procrastinate, I know I am avoiding a BIG feeling, I don't know where to start, OR a combination of both... (it is very liberating to run through this menu next time you find yourself in avoidance...)
Completing your WILL, your health care directive - means confronting DEATH. It is much easier to "not have the time" for this project and keep our in-denial heads tucked into that sand.
But - in this moment - death is alive in the conscious realm collectively - individually. We are already confronting it. So, we might as well use this moment to rip the bandaid off and get to work.
We can 'control' so very little right now, but this - this is something that we can absolutely control: how we wish to be cared for at the time of our death and how our financial affairs are dealt with after we are gone.
We can leave a giant mess, or a tidy pile.
Think of your loved ones here - this is for THEM. Summon your love for them as you bravely step forward to do these necessary, uncomfortable tasks.
Parallel to death is the fear of making poor (big) decisions: who will finish raising our children??? GULP. What about our pets?? Do we want our children gaining access to this money at 18? Or 25? Living Trust? Living Will? Power of Attorney? What is what and which is which??? Oofta.
It quickly overwhelms, paralyzes, and fatigues.
Take deep breaths. Step outside - stretch - and ask for support (the emotional kind, the professional guidance kind). But come back to the work - STAY WITH IT. (even if 'staying with it' spans a week - or a few).
While it seems daunting before you begin, once you are through the fear, the task is really quite straightforward...
Most people can do this process on their own in an evening with simple software - some will need an estate attorney. It depends (I have a few links below that will help get you sorted, and started). AND. If you aren't sure, but don't have anything... please... just begin.
If you don't have a WILL, it is worth the small investment to get the conversation started, and a document signed. It can always be taken to a lawyer as a "draft", to be re-written (nulling the 1st). But you want to have SOMETHING... especially now.
Then, share your wishes with the people closest to you - and the whereabouts of said WILL - with those you trust.
While you are tackling the hard stuff, it is an EXCELLENT time to create a folder to help a loved one with your financial life after you are gone (I know, I keep putting this right in front of you - I don't like it either, but it is necessary!). See the short list of what to include below.
The reward of 'having your affairs in order' is next level RELIEF! It feels infinitely better to tuck your head onto a soft pillow of completion rather than into the scratchy sand. You will sleep so much better - and you will give your loved ones a tremendous gift for when they need it most.
Most importantly - my goal for this email is for you to return to your life with more vibrancy, joy, and love than before. Our culture doesn't have the best relationship with death. But I do believe that death brings life into full focus - crystalizing what is most worth living for.
Let's get on with living more fully into LIFE, by acknowledging our death. It is all so much. I have resisted sending this out because we are all processing layer upon layer of grief, uncertainty, anxiety, and fear... but it is TIME for this. Especially if you haven't tidied it up YET...
Here's to the longest, best life that you have yet to live...!
ESTATE PLANNING RESOURCES / LINKS
WHAT YOU NEED:
WILL or ESTATE PLAN
DURABLE POWER OF ATTORNEY for HEALTH CARE
WHAT to INCLUDE in a FOLDER / CONVERSATION re: FINANCIAL AFFAIRS
List of Accounts - Checking, Savings, CC, Investment [Account number, 800 numbers]
How to Access Said Accounts [Passwords - OBVIOUSLY keep this safe, and separate from the account numbers. Consider a service like 'Last Pass'... just be sure your loved ones knows where to look]
Copies of Important Documents or Location of Important Documents [Safe Deposit Box...]
Insurance Information - Health, Life, Long Term Care [Contact #s, Account #s]
Anything else you believe is important: like PRACTICAL letters to survivors, guardians, etc (do the love letters too... just consider this a different side of you that they will get to meet one day, and love you all the more for it! Side note, these are HARD. I remember writing a 'letter' for my kindergarten daughter's emergency school kit and cried my way through the entire thing - but spoke directly to her and her potential future fears... it is intense, and it is such a gift)
To get started, here are some (non-affiliate) resources:
Legal ZOOM, NOLO, ROCKET LAWYER (free) MyDIRECTIVES
FIND AN ESTATE ATTORNEY NEAR ME - You have a large estate (assets), you are concerned that someone may contest your will, or just want help and direction, this is a great option to get you started!
There you go. Affairs all tidy - now, back to LIVING...